Friday, June 13, 2014

Article: The Uneventful School Assembly

~ a completely ridiculous description of the rituals of a daily morning assembly, as told by a sarcastic, inconsequential member of the mob.

   If someone were to ask me of the magnificence of a general school assembly, I'd be apt in pointing out the sheer numbers, or the primness of the attire of each student, or even the attentive faces that turn up frequently towards the people on the stage. What this answer would lack, of course, will be the gentle subtleties and little touches that truly make the morning assembly stand out.
   Being a part of it makes me feel special. I can only comment on the various habits and behaviours of my schoolmate, and cannot and shall not extend my critical survey till our teachers. This is strictly targeted on my fellow schoolmates. Adding to this, I must also say that though some may find the brutal, exact, precise truth strange, eerie, or almost creepy, this is not a jibe on anyone in particular. My unbiased gaze wraps up every potential person worthy of survey.
   Now, I must commence the beginning. It all starts with a sound not quite different to droning. It is an odd mixture of giggling, whispering, shouting, taunting, outspokenness, shyness and a dazzling amount of sleepiness, that can be compared to a jumble of soft and loud spoken choirs. Yet, not all appreciate it the way we students do. And so, we school ourselves into the perfect silence that can only be attained through certain amounts of discipline. Speaking of which, the next move will be the flexing of arms, fingers, shoulders, toes and the occasional tongues. The characteristic touch on the girls part is the distinctive dip in the height of their raised arms. Our girls are excessively conservative, and keep their arms to themselves. This being done, the obligatory shuffling of feet follows, for it is only natural that the legs should also get their inadequate, unwholesome share in the 'workout'. Obligations apart, ill suppressed giggles highlight the humour of the scene. The distinctive to and fro motion of the 'marching troops' starkly resembles penguins. Though, why on earth should penguins be compared with humans, even my logic declares undecided. Do penguins shuffle the same way, bearing through the monotony of living on a scheduled time table, each day a repeat of the previous? Do they know the murkiness of repetition? The dark depths and the effects of this evil? Probably not.
   Skimming over minor details, we now reach the stage where my fellow pals trace their ancestry back to the amicable dolphins. The same way necessity that drives the dolphins to keep an eye open while sleeping, i have often observed that their (hopefully) more mature relatives watch out for potential predators and dangers as they prey....er...ehm.....pray. The truly discreet fellows have impeccable timing. That uplifted eyelid can spring up or shut close in a thrice. And by now the last words of gratitude have been mumbled to the almighty. Now we loose no time in lidding up our ears and opening up our mouths.
   It gives me unaccountable pleasure to note how the movements of each individual change as a particularly enthusiastic ( or disgracefully unenthusiastic ) speaker addresses the grand assemblage below. Feigned or not, there certainly is a truly remarkable look of attention on each face as our speakers starts to speak. This enthusiasm is carried on for a brief 15 seconds- that is all that is needed to analyze, summarize and discard the views of our speaker. By midway, a general droop of heads marks the period in which most boys and girls begin an undefinably important survey of their shoes. By three quarters of the speech, one is so proficient at the art of shoe recognizing, that by a mere glance one can distinguish the soiled and muddy shoes on ones own foot from the relatively cleaner one of ones neighbors. The critical mind somehow catches the phrase- " at last, I would like to say...". With a zeal that shall be seen lacking later on, a sea of heads raises, and at which point of time the the students share their looks with that of rabbits, so bent on scuttling off to their holes at the mere hint of a noise. Our prodigies, however, resort to applauding and not to scuttling. A chap sure deserves a good goodbye!
   As, no doubt, it bids thee best to skip a few negligible details, which are undergone simultaneously with the slowly rising and generally increasing volume of the sound generated by our promising aspirants,we get to the national anthem. National pride suppresses the student within. By the end of the national anthem, the pressure slowly built up during the last 20 minutes or so vents out into a great deal of commotion and chitter-chatter. The activities of another day can now be commenced. A stifled yawn while walking up the stairs is what crowns the end of our uneventful morning assembly.